I have a friend who thrives on wanting to be helpful. He’s observant, experienced and insightful, applying new things to his life all the time. Sometimes, though, he’s convinced whatever works for him should work for you, and insists on you taking action. If you don’t, there are subtle and not-so-subtle feelings that he’s judging you for your unwillingness to do as he thinks is best for you.
This desire to change others and not accept them as they are may be a mirror of what is going on inside of us. We all are in a state of growth, but if the imperative to change comes from a need to control or a sense that we’re imperfect, we are like the proverbial dog, always chasing our tail. We are never going to love ourselves fully because there’s some other way we could’ve been “better.” On the other hand, if we love ourselves completely and unconditionally, we can listen to our whole being, making changes from a place of love and desire to expand.
How do you change your own self-critical nature? And how do you change the feelings of inadequacy if you’re on the receiving end of a critical person’s attention?